Hilarious

It's close to 8pm and I've just put my tux on and I kind of just realized I've got no fucking idea what I'm supposed to do next. Do I pick her up? Or does she pick me up? Do I meet her there? Or do I... Fuck it. I'm going to stay put until lil' miss Janet returns my call. There's always the chance that she might just forget about the whole thing. One can hope. In the meantime -- is there anyone online right now who hasn't somehow been suckered into attending prom night? Better still, is there anyone here willing to take my place? Apparently, my date is HOT. Like real friggin' HOT. HOT like you wouldn't believe.

Note to those of you who feel the need to laugh out loud at my expense, I'd like to state that this ultimate sacrifice, severely huge in it's selflessness, is one time only. And if I die tonight, by Janet's hands, or by my own, I'd hereby like to take the opportunity to say --

Go fuck yourself. All of you. Seriously.